You are not so special.

New York City, has a population of about 8.2 M people of which 11.6% are of asian descent. Which makes the likely hood that I bump into another asian in NYC about 1 in every 8-9 people. It is less if you goto one of the burbs in the NYC Area, ie Jersey (Unless you goto the chinese market or something similar). In short, I am a minority. I have been all my life and that's what made me special, stick out. It has it's drawback, ie getting picked on when I was younger and it's advantages, ie Go affirmative Action! =).

Here in Beijing, the population is about 15 M people of which 99% are Chinese. Which makes the likely hood that I run into a foreigner that looks foreign... VERY remote. Especially in areas of the town that aren't too expat friendly. So, for the first time in my life, I'm the majority. As the majority, you are expected to behave as one. So when you don't reply back in mandarin, don't stuff yourself into a full elevator, spit on the floor, smoke, etc, they look at you perplexed. How come this person, who looks Chinese, doesn't act like one. Its really easy for an expat. They don't look chinese, therefore they are not chinese, and thus I am prepared to explain things to them (or swindle them for some extra cash!!) Sometimes, if I have a tag that read, Chinese American, it would all make sense to them. Born in China/US, grew up there and came "Home" to China.

Coming to China, I knew it was going to be an adventure, but I looked forward to it. I spent a while speaking to a friend here in Beijing. We talked about the challenges that I faced growing up in the states such as identity crisis. He has two boys growing up there now and is seeing those same challenges that I faced growing up. During the conversation, I brought up the term "banana". A term that is used to describe a Chinese person (Yellow) that acts none Chinese (White) (simply put). A person that doesn't speak chinese, nor understand it's culture and customs. I know lots of "Bananas", "Twinkies", "White washed", etc Chinese.

In the states, I would consider myself a good chinese boy. I knew most of the chinese customs, could speak mandarin better than most chinese I knew, and help organize and participate in may chinese cultural events. I have to thank my parents for making sure that my brother and I learned as much about our culture as possible.

Having put some thought into it for a day, I came to the realization that I too was a "Banana" =( In the true sense of the word. I'm Chinese, but don't understand/contain all the customs, language, behaviors as the locals here do. The worse thing for me was stated earlier, I'm a banana, so it's expected for me to behave in a certain way, where as an expat is given much more room to manuver.

A question which should have an easy answer such as "where are you from?" becomes somewhat longer and harder to explain. "I'm born in China." (Taiwan seems frowned upon, and I like my body parts) They are like what's wrong with you. Then I have to explain that I moved to the US and grew up there. I just returned to China. So what are you then? Chinese? American? Chinese American? Just when I thought I figured out my identity... it's all mixed up again and I have to figure it out all over again...

When my family came to America, it was quite a feat, The Chinese exclusion act established in 1882 and revoked in 1950's and quotas lifted in the mid/late 1960s, severly limited the number of Chinese coming to the US. So, when we arrived in the states, we exclaimed "We're HERE!!!"

I'm glad to have the oppurtunity to live and work in China. It's been something that I've thought about for quite sometime. After living in the States for over a quarter centruy, I've got a message 1.3 B people. "I'M BACK!!!"