Getting into the holidays

In a couple of days, 2 months would have passed. Feels like a different life. I'm guessing that moving into a new apartment made it easier to transition. Life has been plain but fulfilling in a way. I've been having cooking sessions with a couple of the girls. Mike's coworker moved to Beijing and hanging out with his family has been cool. Now I just gotta get into some excersizing and language learning: Spanish, French, Japanese and Korean.

I'm planning a holiday trip back to NY, which in the life 2 months ago we had scrapped due to my condition. Now I'm going to get to see P&L and the new family member earlier than I originally would have. Feels a little like I'm living in a different timeline, but I guess it's got its own perks. In this timeline, I'll see family for Christmas/New Years. I'll go to Rockefeller Center and see the tree and skating crowd. Hopefully we'll find a party or two where it's warm and festive to celebrate the new year with friends. I'll grab a shake shack burger or two at the park. Eat some sushi, steak, and whatever else I can't find in Beijing.

I got mixed feelings about all this. I understand it's not like I traded to be able to do all this, but there's a tad bit of sadness and guilt. There's a little guilt whenever I have coffee, seafood, and essentially anything I couldn't do before but I enjoy. I guess it'll take some time for it to go away. In the mean time, I guess I'll do my best and enjoy the holidays.

I wonder if Santa will think that I'm a good girl this year. But what will he do if what I want doesn't go under a tree?